My Eye of the Needle Experience

  • In March of 2019, I began going through a deeply challenging spiritual purification process, which climaxed with a 16-day “Eye of the Needle” episode, where I was quite literally fighting for my life.  

I’m sharing my process here not to frighten anyone, but to simply share my experience and maybe create more awareness around the Eye of the Needle purification process; A subject that is rarely talked about. 

I trust that if you’re reading these words you are ready to hear about the Eye of the Needle, which has been explained by  St. John of the Cross as “a deep, and rare stage of what we could call the realization of Christed Being.”

Many spiritual leaders who have gone through the  Eye of the Needle  (EOTN) don’t talk about it openly, because quite frankly most people wouldn’t understand it – as they haven’t gone through it.  You have to go through it to understand exactly what it is like. 

From my experience I can say that this is a process that is so potentially brutal it takes every bit of fortitude and inner determination you can muster, just to get through it. 

Luckily for me, I had several mighty companions who helped me greatly through this deeply challenging time. 

Because my partner Lloyd had already gone through the Eye of the Needle experience, he helped me immensely just by sharing his experience and being there as a constant beacon and lighthouse.  

Linda O’Connell, a fellow angel channeler and long-time Course student, was paired up with me by spirit, to travel with me side-by-side through this journey. If we didn’t have each others’ support and love we don’t know how we would have gotten through, especially the actual “Eye of the Needle” portion of the purification process.

Eighteen days before Lloyd arrived in Newfoundland to pick me up to move to Ontario with him, I received a message from Spirit that I was about to go through an accelerated purification process called the Eye of the Needle, and that I would be assisted. 

I knew in my heart I was on the precipice of something big. 

And then it started. 

On September 3, after arriving home from having lunch with a friend, I began to experience a strong feeling of pressure in my head. After asking the Spirit what this pressure was, I heard the word: “Subconscious.” 

It felt as though a powerful frequency was streaming in through all sides of my head and in the process dredging up all my unconscious guilt and fear of God, to be purified. 

This was the beginning of a 16-day marathon of terror, where I felt the most ferocious fear one could imagine, from the time I woke up in the morning until I fell asleep at night. 

To this day I have no idea how I got through it. 

I was filled with so much anxiety and  despair, throughout each second, minute and hour of each day, I could barely function. 

Something in me knew I needed to keep moving through my day in the best way I could, doing my normal activities. I would periodically lay on the bed or sit in a chair in a reclined position and take deep cleansing breaths, which brought a fleeting relief, followed again by complete terror and severe mental anguish. There was very little relief no matter what I did. 

It felt like I was on the most terrifying roller coaster in the universe, hanging on for my life. 

During this time I developed a temporary form of what the spirit called PTDD, or, Post Traumatic Distress Disorder. I couldn’t bare to pass a person on the street without going into severe anxiety. The soft flow of water or the clicking of a switch caused major irritation and panic. 

Below is the time-line of the guidance I received during the 7-month process, including the 16-day Eye of the Needle portion of the process. 

In March of 2019 I received a channel from a team of Ascended Masters,  which included a snapshot of my imminent 7-month spiritual purification process.

· God is calling you now to do His work 

· Trust that every step is laid out impeccably before you

· The most important components of this awakening is stillness and oneness. Let Him guide your moves now so you don’t have to 

Then on June 13, 2019 (from the Ascended Masters, or Team of Awakeners)

· There’s a team of awakeners with you now

· You are going through a light body activation. You cannot choose this light body activation, this (the Merkabah) chooses you

· There are layers being activated, both singularly and as one

· At the culmination of this there will be joy

· Merkabah aspects are being released from heaven to soothe your soul and calm you down

On June 15, 2019, I heard the following guidance

· We are a team of awakeners working with you now. We come saturated in God’s love. The nexus of love is a combination of star light codes from a sanctuary of light

· The Star of David has arisen

· You’re going through a software replacement. A standard of greatness so high that the activation replaces your reality

June 20, 2019

· There is a single-pointed focus that is being asked of you now. An unfaltering and unwavering present-moment awareness

· There is an energy field surrounding you now that you can draw on

· Your level of mastery will increase over the coming days

· We are offering a systematic approach. Coming to you from all angles, for the purpose of rapid ascension 

· We offer light, frequency

· We see you saturated in love 

· Reach high into your faith now

On September 1, 2019, two days before the Eye of the Needle marathon, I received the following guidance from Spirit

· You’re on an accelerated path of awakening

· There’s an expansion happening and you’re going to be part of it

· You will be assisted

· The Mind of God is here. You’re almost Home, and the ego screams loudest when you’re sliding into home base 

Here are some insights about the Eye of the Needle, from Lloyd and others, and also based on my own experience. 

· Do not stop at the outside ring of fear. When you feel this level of terror from the ego (the fear of God), you have to keep going and get yourself out of it 

· The ego does not go easily 

· The “dark night of the soul” is not the same as “the Eye of the Needle.” They are two completely different experiences designed for different points on your awakening journey 

You will come out the other side

I found the following information from St. John of the Cross to be very helpful and insightful.  

St. John of the Cross speaks about a key phase of the soul’s awakening: 

The Eye of the Needle. (mostly paraphrased)

The ‘eye of the needle’ speaks to a specific transition mind will go through. It is the recognition that no metaphysical belief structure, indeed, no concept about God can work at all. 

Not one foothold remains, and a whole new sphere of utter surrender of both a sense of self and ‘one’s world’ is occurring and cannot be stopped. 

The eye of the needle is not a test; It speaks to a deep, and rare stage of what we could call the realization of Christed Being.

Imagine a Course student truly realizing what it would mean to fully “forget this Course, and come with empty hands unto your God.” Not for a fleeting second but as a permanent Ground in every moment. 

To throw out all the mind’s crutches and enter the Eye of the Needle, the unknown and utterly unknowable, even as the reverberations of stuck stark disorientation strikes from soul to cell. 

This is but a brief attempt at a taste of the Eye of the Needle. 

As for Eye of the Needle, it awaits on the other side of all leaning on any kind of spiritualty, conceptually. There, when one truly surrenders into God, utterly and truly with empty hands, with no subtle hope of gaining anything, especially not safety, knowledge, or even hope.

The Eye of the Needle arises when ego as identity has been transcended, with only a tiny thread left: the one attached to any and all thought systems/explanations obstructing minds great fear: not knowing. 

Beyond all hope in hope itself. Beyond all dualities.

These spheres obliterate it all.

What remains?

Only one way to find out, and no one genuinely devoted to waking and transformation will avoid the eye of the needle in ripe time.

Coming to love only God is the very gravitational pull that insures its inevitable arrival.



Beyond the eye of the needle is a saturated blessing of innocence   

There is no faltering anymore into a state of emergency or lack  

There is wonder and an awareness of truth  

You will never be the same again after this excruciating pulling away of the husk  

The darkness has fallen away now as the light penetrates the morn  

You are born anew in this new time of now  

Behold I make all things new  

And so it is 

Channeled by Stefanie Finn


Mooji discusses the Eye of the Needle

The forces have come for every liberated being.